


For a Century

by LoonyLupin



Series: For a Century: Astra Shepard x Liara T'Soni [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not like dating a human, where you just stick it out for a century until they die."</p>
            </blockquote>





	For a Century

The words twisted in Shepard’s gut like a knife. The asari standing before her realized she’d said something rude and apologized clumsily, but Shepard’s eyes stung, a lump forming in her throat. She managed to ignore the physical sensations, but the words echoed.

_It’s not like dating a human, where you just stick it out for a century until they die._

She thought back to seeing Liara earlier that day. The kiss she had been waiting for, aching for, was truncated to something brief and impersonal. She had tried to tell herself it was only because they were likely under surveillance that Liara had seemed so distant. Liara had asked her to come back and talk to her again, hadn’t she? She’d embraced her, hadn’t she? But the asari’s arms around her had felt stiff, nothing like the warmth of her skin against Shepard’s one night before Ilos.

So much in the past few weeks had seemed unreal, a distant haze punctuated by rare bits of clear detail. It was as if her mind was trying to protect her from the fact that she had died and been reborn by cushioning the world in a diaphenous layer. Sometimes things managed to break through the cushion — the shock of seeing Garrus bleeding on the ground, Tali’s accusing voice, Ash’s hurt expression. Only pain could cut through the muffled existence she found herself in. Pain, and a few careless words from an asari who looked nothing like the one Shepard wanted to see.

Shepard wondered what was wrong with her. Most asari could handle a century with a human. Liara had backed off after two years. 

Of course, Shepard realized, it wasn’t really Liara’s fault. _You just stick it out until they die._ Shepard had been the one to fail her.

The haze returned. She didn’t notice the look Garrus and Tali exchanged, the worry in Garrus’ eyes. She numbly made her way to the lounge, where even the burn of alcohol could not free her to feel. She was here in the same atmosphere as Liara and yet she was worlds, and years, apart from her.

She was not embarrassed when she realized she was on the bathroom floor, her head throbbing, her stomach roiling. She did not feel anything. Tali reached out cautiously and wiped the hair out of her eyes, away from her sweaty brow. Garrus extended a three-fingered hand to help pull her to her feet. She tried to thank them but her words were gray mumblings, lost in the fugue.

Her hand trembled on her omni-tool, about to key in comms for Liara. But she closed it down before she could call. Part of her wanted to beg for another ninety-eight years. Part of her knew, with a cold and bitter certainty, that to do so would be greedy. 

So she did nothing, and her head ached, and her mouth felt sticky. She focused on the mission, the gray and hazy mission, and she tried to forget the words.

_Until they die._


End file.
